Hello Confusion, My Old Friend

content warning: eating disorders.

2018, my mind roared with excitement as I stood on Prince’s street with my friends and partner. This is my year! No more insecurity, no more job hunting. No longer shall I be crippled by self-doubt and bewilderment. For a whole twelve months of my life I won’t feel crippled and paralysed by disorientation, hopelessness and self loathing. For the next twelve months I will finally be somebody; no longer some job-hopping shop girl who keeps shooting for the idealised 9-5 work environment, but whose European name and “insufficient amount of administration experience” kept pushing her back behind shop counters for extensive seasonal periods. I have a salary and a role, I finally have autonomy and job security; for the first time in my life someone has given me a chance. Someone has seen something of value in me that’s worth their time and business strategy. Finally, after six years of trying, I have the opportunity to make a difference. I’m going to make a difference.

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The Changeling

The Changeling
by Cinzia DuBois

tw: the following story covers the issue of eating disorders.

History is full of stories of heroes failing where they should succeed; and when they fail, they usually do so spectacularly. Don’t get me wrong, heroes are all very good at their job; they’ve completed many masterful quests and epics which have enraptured and enchanted me throughout my life. There are tales, however, usually hidden amidst fragments of Greek and Roman poetry, Norse mythology and Middle-English scriptures, which reveal the kinks and holes in the legendary tapestries. These tales recall the mythological arrows which can pierce the unpierceable armour, and speak of storms which drown unsinkable ships, of illimitable stamina exhausted by reality and of undying love broken by death. Some of these tales are true, others complete fantasies; but the large majority tend to be elaborate exaggerations and imaginative twists on reality: contortions of the real, infected by the human imagination. What lore quietly reveals to us is that no one is invincible or infallible; everyone and everything is susceptible to err, damage, fault and weakness. There is always a way to defeat the invincible hero, just as there is always a way to destroy the invincible beast. No matter how powerful and frightening the enemy, or how heroic the hero, how kind the fairy, how loving the mother, how daring the daughter; lore has repeatedly told us that no one ever completely safe.

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